Unconvincing Spam

Some phishing attempts are better – more honorable – than others.  They might be HTML, for instance, and carefully mimic the look of an actual email from the particular bank or business they’re spoofing.  They are evil, no question – but at least they have the respect to make a decent effort to hoodwink you.

There’s something especially insulting and infuriating about the much more common spam we get – the unconvincing spam:  plain text, ugly formatting, misspelled words, terrible writing, apparent lack of familiarity with the language they’re written in – in short, embarrassingly poor execution.

Sometimes I’m so offended by their apparent lack of respect and effort that I’m nearly tempted to reply.  Nearly, but not quite.

Here’s one I just got…

First of all, it’s simply from “Support.”  Then the subject line is misspelled and has a dash that leads nowhere – a dash in-between nothing…

Subject:  Messge from eBay –

Inside, I find one block of pathetic plain text that says…

Dear eBay Member,
This is your official notification from eBay. Your online has expired.
If you want to continue using our service you have to renew your online.
If not, your online will be limited and deleted.
To confirm your Account records click on the following link:

The link, of course, is scary-looking with the word “ebay” sprinkled through it three times – but not in the one place you want to see it.  And then it is signed…

Thank you,
Scott R. Shipman, CIPP Senior Counsel, Global Privacy Practices eBay Inc.

My online has expired??!!  My online will be limited and deleted??!!

“Scott R. Shipman,” you dishonor me with your pitiful lack of effort.  You call that a lure?  You are a poor excuse for a phisherman. essay help online

5 thoughts on “Unconvincing Spam”

  1. I once returned one of those emails about how this person in Nigeria had died and left $300MM with the note to send a $10,000 cashiers check to initiate consultation. Never heard back from them.

  2. I admire your desire to hold scammers to a higher standard. It’s insulting to think I’d be fooled by some of the really weak attempts that pop up in my mailbox.

    On an unrelated note, I was really happy to read today that teen girls want me. I was starting to think I was getting too old for ’em.

  3. I keep getting some fun christian spam, as in: I noticed you were a fine, upstanding citizen, and a good christian. So am I, you should send me a bunch of money…

    It tips me off that it’s spam when they say they noticed I was a christian… 🙂

    1. Spamusement rocks!! It’s definitely one of my favorite cartoons. For the uninitiated, the tag line is “poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!” Explore the archives – but start at the bottom, with the oldest ones. Towards the end, there are a lot of guest cartoonists which isn’t the same.

      Far too many to choose from but I like Isn’t Science Wonderful and today is the day and It doesn’t hurt to check and 1-4 extra inches makes a massive difference and like flipping a switch that will allow you to get exactly what you want and Robomaid amazing new robotic duster and I Flew to London for $75 Round Trip, just to name a few.

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